The Right to Bare Arms

Hello, boys and girls. Today I'm going to be talking to you about my big ol' arms.

I am a big girl. This is no secret. I am plus-sized, voluptuous, Ruebenesque, curvy, fluffy, chunky, chubby, husky, big-boned -- you get the idea. Pick your favorite fat-girl colloquialism, because it fits. You're not going to offend me. 

I have battled with wearing things that flatter me for my entire life. Not things that I necessarily liked, but things that made me look... not-so-huge. Do these jeans help conceal that little pooch below my belly button? Does this top fit too snugly across my enormous shoulders? Does this style of bra pinch my back fat and create bulges? Does this skirt minimize my almost-square birthing hips? To Spanx or not to Spanx: that is the question.

Big girls learn "rules" along the way -- how to conceal, minimize, smooth. Lather, rinse, repeat. There's a whole list of them, both spoken (I'm looking at you, fashion magazines) and unspoken.

The very tippy-top item on my personal list, one of the rules to which I have strictly adhered over the years is this --

Do. Not. Show. Your. Upper. Arms.

I hate my upper arms with a passion. I hated them when they weren't even that big (when I lifted 24-packs of canned beverages all day at grocery stores) and I especially hate them now after nearly four years of typing and pencil-pushing at a desk. My arms are huge. They're flabby. They're hideous. I have always, as long as I can remember, owned at least five or six shrugs in varying colors to ensure that I would be able to keep them hidden at all times. Until 2007, my Venn diagram for "people who have seen my upper arms" and "people who have seen me naked" was a circle.

Do you know how much I love my sister? I broke this rule for her wedding in 2007. I cried the day we bought my bridesmaid dress and I cried when I took it off after the wedding -- I loved the dress, but I hated the way it made me feel. I know now, logically, that I must have looked nice, or people wouldn't have been going out of their way to come up to me and hug me and tell me how beautiful I looked. At the time, however, I hated that I couldn't fully accept that; I suspected that they were trying to make me feel better because they shared my opinion of my arms (and my body) and they felt obligated to say nice things because they were just embarrassed for me. (... ... ... I know. I'm ridiculous.)

Me & my arms, my gorgeous sister, my beautiful mother  (photobomb courtesy of my Aunt Joy).

When I looked at this picture in the past, all I could focus on is my tummy pressed against my dress (despite my corset) and my stretch mark-riddled shoulders and fat arms. You probably can't even see the stretch marks unless you zoom in on the photo, but I know they're there, so they light up like a neon sign to my eyes. I would like to mention that this was in the middle of my Target days, too -- when I was walking a retail floor 9-10 hours a day and lifting things non-stop. I've gained about twenty-five pounds since this photo -- at least.

Today, I look at this picture and I see a happy memory. I see a proud mother with her daughters, I see my baby sister growing up, I see the genuine smile on my face. I adore this photo. That's progress, right?

I am a hundred times more confident now than I used to be in these situations -- mostly. I still cover up my arms on most days (because I prefer layering if the temperature allows), and the number of times I've been in public in a strapless/sleeveless dress/top is still in the single digits, but they've all occurred within the past two years (except for the above photo). People have seen my arms -- and the world didn't end. Not one person has given me a second glance, much less an offended/judgmental one. At the very least, I've learned that comfort matters more than other people's opinions. Baby steps, guys.

I have slip-ups some days, like during the week our air conditioning at work was completely broken -- the thermostat was in the mid-nineties in our windowless/fanless office, and I escaped to Burger King for their glorious air conditioning on my lunch break. I was sweating, miserable, and nauseated for the first twenty minutes I was there; on top of that, I was anxious over the fact that people could see my shoulders and my arms (which were splotchy and red from heat rash). I barely even touched my food.

But then, during my moment of negativity and weakness, friends supported and reassured me.

By the end of my lunch break, I didn't give a damn who saw my arms or my shoulders. I was comfortable and I intended to stay that way. My thick cotton shrug was tossed into the back seat of my car and stayed there the rest of the evening.

Baby steps.

If I have learned anything about being body positive, it is this -- nobody can do it for you, because if that were the case then I'd have never questioned my appearance. I did not grow up in a negative atmosphere. My parents have always been wonderful -- they were forever bragging on their beautiful and talented children. My family, my friends, my husband... they've always been nothing short of supportive. Too bad that it took me a solid twenty-eight years to realize that people weren't being nice to me out of obligation; they actually meant what they were saying.

That's a powerful realization.  It's what keeps me smiling on the bad days. It's what keeps me confident in the face of that nagging little voice inside my head. It's what helps me be comfortable in my own skin... finally.

Saturday 9: So Much to Say

Thanks to Kelly for recommending The Dave Matthews Band. (Hear it here.) 

1) The lyrics refer to a baby's "one year of crying." When was the last time you cried ... felt weepy ... or at least teared up? I cry regularly -- I think I'm making up for never crying when I was younger. I always thought Mom was so strange because she cried when she was happy, sad, stressed, looking through photos, watching movies, reading books... but I believe I'm destined to be the same way. I re-read Rainbow Rowell's Eleanor & Park last week (I'm still working on a major blog post focused on Rainbow's works -- she's an amazing author) and it made me cry, just like it did the first three times I read it.

2) Let's lighten it up a little. When was the last time you laughed really hard? A couple of days ago when J attack-tickled me. I am ridiculously ticklish and I scream and laugh and flail about and can't breathe if someone tickles me. I was being a grumpybutt and he risked his physical well-being to make me smile like the lovely husband he is. Haha! ♥

3) Do you have "so much to say" that hasn't been said yet? Tell us if you owe someone a phone call, note, email or text. Always. Sometimes I feel like I fail as a friend because I don't return every phone call/note/email/text that I receive. It isn't because I'm lazy and it isn't because I'm not appreciative -- it's simply because I forget to return the favor for a while (I am incredibly easily distracted), and then I remember it, and then I feel bad because I feel too much time has passed to return it. I'll eventually get some things mailed out and some phone calls placed, though.

4) Earlier this summer, Dave took a bike ride before a show and his tire blew out. He didn't have a cell phone with him and was afraid of missing that night's performance. Fortunately two fans -- driving to see Dave Matthews Band in concert -- recognized him by the side of the road and gave him a ride to the show. Share a recent act of kindness you either did, or received. I've been on the receiving end of a lot of kindness. I've had my phone returned to me, unscathed, after leaving it at a restaurant for a couple of hours. I've had my purse returned to me, unpilfered, after it fell off of my car and into a busy parking lot. Back when J & I were dating and driving an hour every day to meet up with each other, I got a flat tire in the middle of that hour-long drive (in the middle of nowhere) and a complete stranger fixed it for me so that I could meet J at the nearest tire store. I've returned a couple of forgotten phones to people when I noticed they'd been left behind at restaurants or at stores, but that's about it.

5) Before he hit it big, Dave Matthews was a bartender. What job did you have right before the one you have now? I had a job at Lane Bryant, and I loved it. If the pay wasn't so terrible (I was part-time, sure, but I was part-time management and I was barely clearing minimum wage) or if I was working strictly to keep from being bored, I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Working there wasn't like working, it was like hanging out with friends and getting paid to do so. The girls I worked with were the best. I'm so sad that our Lane Bryant closed!

6) The Dave Matthews Band recorded an album live at the Red Rocks Amphitheater, in the mountains near Denver. Is there a trip to the mountains in your future? Nah, I doubt it.

7) Do you suffer from hay fever or allergies? I live in a river valley. Pollen allergies are an unfortunate part of life. Certain times of the year, everything is coated in a yellowy-green hue. It's really gross, but I'm sure it keeps the folks at Mucinex happy.

8) What's in your pocket right now? A receipt for my cherry limeade from Sonic!

9) American Express promotes "Small Business Saturday," and encourages us to shop at local, independent retailers. Is there a shop, boutique or restaurant in your town that you're particularly fond of? Yes! We support local book stores and restaurants whenever we can!

Montagu's Burgers, where they doodle on your plates (& make a kick-ass burger)!

Coldwater Books!

Rivertown Coffee. Love the lattes and the atmosphere.

Mixtape Monday #3: Childhood

To say I've been slacking on my mixtapes would be an egregious understatement. I'm no good with commitments, so I don't know what was going on in my brain when I decided a weekly mixtape would be a phenomenal and simple task. Oops.

Today, I bring you the mixtape of my childhood.

These are my comfort songs. They're the songs that Mom danced to while she was cleaning our old apartment, the songs that Dad cranked up in the back yard when he was mixing paint for his new client's house, the songs that don't sound the same without the soft pop and crackle of a needle on a vinyl groove. They're the songs that can't be played loudly enough, and until the past three months, the songs that never made me cry.

What are songs that remind you of your childhood? What songs bring you comfort? What songs feel like home?

Gray

Hello, lovelies.

Pardon my absence. I've had some rather gray days the past couple of weeks...

...but I'm sure that my colors will come back soon. 

Love.

Mixtape Monday #2: Soundtracks

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a sucker for well-placed music in other forms of media -- TV shows (I'm looking at you, Scrubs), movies, commercials, whatever. I adore music, and I am ten times more likely to like a mediocre film with a phenomenal soundtrack than I am to like a phenomenal film with a mediocre soundtrack. I've learned that there are very few instances in which amazing movies are produced with amazing soundtracks...

Tracks 1, 2, & 3 are from Almost Famous, which is my favorite movie of all time. I could write an entire blog post on how beautiful and perfect the movie is, but I'll spare you (for now). The music is phenomenal and it makes my heart physically ache for a time period in which I was never alive.

Penny Lane is my spirit animal.

Tracks 4 & 5 are the opening and closing tracks from [500] Days of Summer, which is the best not a love story I've ever seen. It lured me into a different sort of music scene by tempting me with classics by The Smiths and Hall & Oates, and then it tricked me by making me love a song by an artist who otherwise annoys the hell out of me (*cough* Regina Spektor *cough*). Well-played, guys. Well-played.

Tom & Summer love vinyl ♥

Tracks 6 & 7 are the opening and closing tracks from Juno. Who doesn't love smart-mouthed, knocked-up sixteen year old Juno? I'm pretty sure this soundtrack didn't leave my car's CD player for four months. Special mention to Kimya Dawson's "Loose Lips" for being an especially fun sing-along song. Broken hearts hurt but they make us strong.

Also, why is Ellen Page always so freakin' cute?

Tracks 8 & 9 are from Love Actually, my second favorite movie of all time! "Jump (For My Love)" makes me laugh out loud to myself every single time -- if you've ever seen this movie, you'll know why (and if you've never seen this movie, what are you waiting for?!) ...

"Just in cases."

Track 10 is sort of a bonus -- it's from Disney's Hercules and I jam out every time it plays on my iPod. Megara wins the sassy Disney gal contest, hands-down.

Bitch, please. I have the most fabulous hair, too.

I wrapped this one up before I was ready, so prepare yourselves for part two sometime in the future.

Do you have a favorite movie musical moment?  Hit me up in the comments or make a mix of your own and drop me a link!

Mixtape Monday #1

You know what makes Mondays easier to deal with?
Music.

I mean, it makes every day easier to deal with, but Mixtape Monday has an alliterative ring to it.

Anyway. I'm going to try to stick with this every Monday -- I even made an entry header graphic.  See?

Don't tell me that ain't commitment.

So, the plan is that each Monday I'm going to post a handful of songs that are my current jams. These songs could be old favorites, new favorites, or simply trendy-yet-fleeting pieces of pop fluff that I can't get out of my head (I'm looking at you, "Call Me Maybe").

With that being said, please feel free to join me. List your current jams in the comments section, or even better yet, grab that cassette tape a few lines up and make your own entry and link back to me so I can check out your tunes. I am always on the hunt for new music and I'm sure we could have a fun time with this.

Alright, pleasantries out of the way, here are my picks for today!
(Please note that you will need Spotify to play the tracks directly from this blog.)

1. The Format - Snails.
For those of you who haven't known me long, let me let you in on a little secret... The Format is my favorite band of all time. For those of you who have recently discovered the band fun., yes, this is Nate Ruess, fun.'s lead singer and lyricist. I've been listening to this amazing voice since 2004. Snails see the benefits, the beauty in every inch.

2. The Naked and Famous - Girls Like You
I blame my addiction to AltNation for this one. This song is catchy and I find myself singing it to myself at random times of the day. The rest of their album is decent, but this is by far my favorite. Don't you know people write songs about girls like you? Everything you say is fire...

3. Gaslight Anthem - 45
Several years ago, I had a seriously intense pop-punk addicted musical phase. I went to Warped Tours and no-name band shows, I had purple and blue hair, and I went through an obscene amount of black eyeliner. I've sort of gotten away from all of that now, but I'm eternally pulled back to the old poppy-punk favorites on my more nostalgic days. I was delighted to hear "45" for the first time -- it's the only new song I've heard that comes close  to the style of my old favorites. ...and I dance with your ghost, oh, but that ain't the way... I can't move on and I can't stay the same.

4. Of Monsters & Men - Mountain Sound
AltNation is also responsible for my discovery of OM&M. I love this band. Their entire album ("My Head is an Animal") is incredible. Some bands are formed to be listened to, some bands are made for singing along. Of Monsters & Men falls into the latter category (at least for me). They're amazing. Some had scars, some had scratches; it made me wonder about their past.. and as I looked around, I began to notice that we were nothing like the rest. 

5. Rise Against - Swing Life Away
This song came on a couple of days ago while I was cleaning and I stopped what I was doing to listen to it -- it had been so long since I heard it, I'd nearly forgotten about it completely! It makes me think of Hubs & I. We live on front porches and swing life away; we get by just fine here on minimum wage. If love is a labor, I'll slave 'til the end, and I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand. 

Your turn. Mixtapes were made to be shared.

The one about kids.

So, kids. Let's talk about kids today.

Anyone who has known me for more than a week or so knows my stance on kids. The conversation I have with a new acquaintance eventually steers into this direction (presumably because I'm twenty-eight years old and newly married): 

Them: So do you have kid--

Me: Nope.

Them: Oh.

Sometimes people respect and understand that. Sometimes they can't wrap their head around it and they demand reasons and/or try to convince me that I'll change my mind one day (and that I'll regret it if I don't have them) (seriously, ladies, most annoying statement ever). Most of the time those people ask questions that they have no business asking. 

Are you going to have them? Don't you want them? What about your husband? Why?

First of all, stop talking to me like I'm broken.  Secondly, the answers, in their respective orders, follow. Not planning on it. Not really. He feels the same way I do (we did talk about these things pre-nuptial, you know). And because (not that it's any of your business) I think children should be brought into this world because they're wanted, not because kids are "the next logical" step in a marriage, not because someone has been ignorant in regards to the plethora of birth control options out there, and not because a relationship is irrevocably screwed up and it's the last chance for normalcy. Call me cynical, but I believe about half (and I'm guessing conservatively, mind you) of the births that occur are due to one of those three reasons. Kids deserve better circumstances than that. They deserve love and choice and commitment.

Delving a little deeper into the why question, and I'm being 100% honest with you guys here, I am a selfish person sometimes. I'm a newlywed, and I am still starry-eyed and blissfully in love with J, and I want him to myself right now and for the foreseeable future. In addition to that, as I've mentioned previously, I fully enjoy alone time. I have plenty of unwritten words inside of me and piles of unconsumed media surrounding me; I do not get bored. I don't feel as if anything is missing from my life. I'm whole.

Now, that being said -- I adore kids. I do. Promise. Ask any of my friends who have kiddos, despite my 6-month aversion to holding them while they're still scrunchy-faced and fragile newborns who lack neck control, I coo and I squeal and I pregnant-belly-rub (with the mother's permission, of course) and I compulsively buy baby-shower gifts with the best of them. I am down for coloring books and puzzle time and peek-a-boo and video games and action figure dudes all day long. Hell, fairly recently, a friendship I'd had for years came to a screeching halt and I miss the kid more than I miss the parent. True story.

I get why people want kids, so I don't ask them why they choose to have them. They're fun to be around, and they're full of wonder and innocence and hilarity.  You couldn't buy better entertainment. I'm sure it's a fulfilling event, to create this tiny little person and then watch them learn and grow over the years, to see their personalities develop, to guide them through highs and lows. Parenting is hard work and if all goes well then you can rest assured and be proud of the fact that you've raised a productive member of society. I get it. It's remarkable and I commend those of you who have kids and who are selfless super parents.

I just wish people would stop nagging me about why I don't want them. I'm not saying it'll never change, because there's a reason that the term "ticking biological clock" exists (and there's a reason I've got names in mind for both sexes, just in case), but right now, I'm great, thanks. Bring the kid over when you and the hubs need a date night -- I can handle it for a few hours (as long as J is here; he's more maternal than I am) -- but I'm not ready to full-on commit to a tiny helpless being who is completely dependent on me for life. 

...plus, I mean, I've got a lot of kick-ass toys and I'm not willing to share those just yet.

But you know. Maybe some day.

In the future.

Maybe.

Feeling less than magical.

A Softer World gets it right every. single. time.

Nobody is perfect

Here's what some people don't understand -- flaws, like beauty, are largely in the eye of the beholder.

I've been thinking about this for quite a while, the introspection spurred by several events. Some of them are my own experiences and some of them are others' that I have observed. So many times, people are so hurt that you either think or operate differently than they do, they will think of you as flawed. Even worse than that, they'll try to convince you of it, too.

I'm here to tell you that it isn't true.

I'm here to tell you that sometimes it's okay to be selfish. There's a difference between being selfish and being self-centered in that selfish can be temporary, whereas self-centered rarely is. Sometimes you're worn down by constant demands that are made by loved ones and/or coworkers. Hell, sometimes you demand too much of yourself. It's okay to take a step back and breathe, because here's something that took me too damn long to learn -- it's okay to say "no" to people. You can say no to hanging out if you want to stay in. You can say no to a phone conversation if you know that you'll just be dead air to the other end of the line. You can say no to favors. If your friends know you well enough, they'll back off. They know as well as you do that if they had a crisis in the middle of the night, you'd still show up with no hesitation. Needing time to yourself is not synonymous with being a jerk.

It's okay to re-prioritize your life even though some people may not make the cut... and it's okay not to miss those people, too. Usually it means you've made the right decision. You'll get nostalgic occasionally, but it's mostly nostalgia for the fun or the happiness you had with the people in question. In our everlasting instinct to want to think the best of people, our memories turn to the happy times when we reminisce. If you've ever been upset over the end of a crappy relationship, you know how this goes. People change. You change. As the age-old proverb goes, change is the only constant.

Speaking of which, it's okay to change. You are not betraying anyone by growing as a person (and if they act like it is a betrayal, seriously, it's time to re-evaluate your social circle). Life is too short to pretend to be something or someone you're not just to appease other people or keep from hurting their feelings. Some people want to travel, others are homebodies. Some people want to get married, some will never get out of their party animal stage. Some people want kids, some people don't. Some people need friends outside of their marriage, others are perfectly content with their spouse and their family.  It's okay to be any of these things, as long as you don't lie to others -- or yourself -- about who you really are and where your heart truly is.

Last, but certainly not least, it is okay to be blissfully happy -- and SHOW it. This should be a "duh" but I find so many people being Debbie Downers in response to other people's happiness lately.  As a sweet friend of mine said recently, you may as well be waving an enormous flag that says, "I'm miserable!" when you put down someone else simply for being happy. If someone is incandescently happy, don't you think you should be happy for them too?  Don't you think that they might have walked through the fires of hell to get to their happiness? Don't you think that if you focused a little bit more on yourself and how to escape your struggles that you'd eventually find your own happiness (and want to shout about it from the rooftops)?  I mean, I know it takes less effort to sit, sulk, and snark (and if that's what you choose to do, then I sincerely pity you) ... but what will you ever truly accomplish with your life if that's your attitude toward someone you claim to love who is happy?

So, that little tangent over with, here are my faults.

• I prefer the company of my husband over anyone else in the world. That's part of the reason I married him. I'm not sorry that I love him with my whole being. 
• I prefer not to die within ten miles of my birthplace. I want to experience somewhere new and meet other people. I don't want to commit to one place unless I have to. I'm not sorry that I want to experience other places instead of living on the same street as my entire extended family. 
• I happen to think that there are a few core rules of friendship you simply don't break, and if you do break them, you need to have the balls to own up to your shitty behavior and apologize before you're forgiven.  I'm not sorry that I have a backbone.
• I'm a radically different woman now than I was a year and a half ago. I'm an entirely different creature now than I was several years ago. This has cost me several friendships that were flaky from the beginning and a couple of family ties that made me ashamed of my own blood. I'm not sorry that I'm strong enough to cut toxic people out of my life.
• I'm posting this so that other people might read it and empathize with my point, having been there themselves. I'm not going back to edit it, tweak it, or take it down because I second-guess myself.  I'm not sorry for having an opinion.  
• ....and you shouldn't be, either.

100 Things I Love (a work in progress)

I started this in one of my Listography journals and I haven't completed it (yet), but I wanted to share. It picks me up to add a couple of items when I'm feeling down. I've made a point of it not to include specific people (because then the list would never end, really), but moments and experiences instead.

What's something that you truly love? Are you an appreciator of the little things?

1.   realizing that "'til death do us part" isn't nearly long enough ♥
2.   words
3.   music
4.   real (not side) hugs
5.   the crinkly sound that paper makes when it has been written on on both sides
6.   coffee, and how I always think of Granny when I drink it (she thought it tasted like burned peanuts)
7.   the sound and smell of rain
8.   pens
9.   cats
10.   daisies
11.   the sounds of a southern summer
12.   quiet time
13.   people-watching
14.   aquariums
15.   unexpected kindnesses
16.   blank pages
17.   technology
18.   fitting perfectly against my husband when we're snuggled up
19.   autumn colors
20.   Diet Coke
21.   the silence that comes with a blanket of snow
22.   an arm-load of warm towels that just came out of the dryer
23.   the weeble-wobble of babies who have just learned to sit up
24.   the connected feeling you get when you're at a concert with hundred of other people who love the same band you do
25.   homecooked meals
26.   over-the-ear headphones
27.   goosebumps
28.   handmade gifts
29.   the smell of thrift stores and flea markets
30.   eyelashes
31.   pink-and-orange-and-sometimes-lavender-tinted sunsets
32.   the genuine enthusiasm of children
33.   being home for Christmas
34.   purses purses purses
35.   lightning bugs
36.   a new box of crayons
37.   a good cry
38.   skirts
39.   buying pretty make-up (and then never wearing it)
40.   handwriting
41.   doing the hand air-gliding swoosh swoosh up and down while in a car, with my window rolled down
42.   taking a good photo
43.   bats
44.   the soft hum of a box fan
45.   a comfortable silence
46.   starting up the car and hearing your favorite song on the radio, like a soundtrack is just waiting for your life adventure to happen
47.   popping bubblewrap
48.   the sound of the ocean
49.   getting surprise mail
50.   comfortable flip-flops
51.   french toast
52.   blanket forts
53.   sitting down at the end of a long work day
54.   stickers
55.   Burt's Bees lip balm
56.   fingernail polish
57.   naps
58.   purring
59.   trinkets that come with family stories
60.   the blast of the car air conditioner after a summer concert
61.   messenger bags
62.   hoodies

30 Songs

01 - your favorite song - Asking me to pick a favorite song is like asking a parent to pick a favorite child. It just isn't fair. As of right now, my most-played song on both my phone and my iPod is "Some Nights" by fun. It may stay that way for a month and it may change tomorrow. It all depends on the mood.

 02 - your least favorite song - This could be any number of songs.  I'll listen to anything once and I can tolerate about 95% of the music out there, but the rule of thumb for me, musically, is this -- if I can't understand your lyrics, I'm not listening to your music. If your song consists of gibberish proclaiming to be rap, no thanks. If your music is nothing but high-pitched screaming or gutteral grunts, it's not happening. I suppose that since I am such a word-centric person, this makes sense, as I am also unable to listen to songs in other languages, no matter how beautiful the music itself might be. I connect on a lyrical level, not a chord level.

 03 - a song that makes you happy - "Sugar Magnolia" by the Grateful Dead (because it's the first song I ever remember hearing by the Grateful Dead).

 04 - a song that makes you sad - "Breathe Me" by Sia (THANKS, "Six Feet Under") and "Miss You Love" by Maria Mena.

 05 - a song that reminds you of someone - "I Don't Want this Night to End" by Luke Bryan is the first song that popped in my head, because it's "our" song, but there are a hundred more answers to this.

 06 - a song that reminds you of somewhere - I was listening to "Raspberry Beret" by Prince when I saw the ocean and walked on a beach for the first time. I was fourteen.

 07 - a song that reminds you of a certain event - "Can't Fight the Moonlight" from the "Coyote Ugly" soundtrack was playing when my friends and I were in a seriously scary wreck when I was seventeen. I'd like to take this opportunity to note that I wasn't in charge of the musical selection on that particular evening.

 08 - a song that you know all the words to - My brain just twitched. It's 75% song lyrics. Are you kidding me? I'm going with "anything I've heard more than once." The one I may me a little proud of is "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel.

 09 - a song that you can dance to - Most songs, as long as they aren't unbearably slow.

 10 - a song that makes you fall asleep - "The Only Living Boy in New York" by Simon & Garfunkel.

 11 - a song from your favorite band - "If Work Permits" by The Format. "China Cat Sunflower" by  Grateful Dead.

 12 - a song from a band you hate - "Photograph" by Nickelback. Ugh.

 13 - a song that is a guilty pleasure - Dude. "Toxic" by Britney Spears, "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake, "Invisible" by Clay Aiken, and now I'm going to stop because you get the point. In my defense, they're catchy as hell.

 14 - a song that no one would expect you to love - Rap. Hey, I have some. I listen to it. Just not often.

 15 - a song that describes you - "Imperfect Is The New Perfect" by Caitlin Crosby.

 16 - a song that you used to love but now hate - Panic! at the Disco's "Lying is The Most Fun a Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off" ... which is odd. I love Panic!, truly I do, but some of the stuff on "A Fever You Can't Sweat Out" just no longer appeals to me ("hate" is a strong word).  I've grown to love their "Vices & Virtues" sound much much more.

 17 - a song that you hear often on the radio - Since I keep my XM station tuned to the 90s station, I jam out regularly to "Follow You Down" by the Gin Blossoms and "Semi-Charmed Life" by Third Eye Blind, among other awesometastical hits from my adolescent years.

 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio - Anything from The Format.

 19 - a song from your favorite album - My favorite album is The Format's "Dog Problems" -- "Inches & Falling (I Love Love)" is one of their best songs, in my opinion. ♥

 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry - "Seventy Times 7" by Brand New ... some of the most angry, melodramatic lyrics ever ("I've seen more spine in jellyfish; I've seen more guts in 11 year old kids / so take another drink and drive yourself home / I hope there's ice on all the roads / & you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt / and again when your head goes through the windshield"). Also, very fun to sing-yell along to.

 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy -"Crayola Doesn't Make a Color for Your Eyes" by Kristin Andreassen (hat-tip to Bethany for that one -- I've been hooked on it since she introduced me!)

 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad - "Colorblind" by Counting Crows and "Keep Breathing" by Ingrid Michaelson.

 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding - I'm married, so I don't really think this applies, but the a sweet song to play at a wedding is Ben Harper's "Forever" :-)

 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral - I don't think it's really proper for a funeral, but I've always kind of loved "Brokedown Palace" by Grateful Dead as a farewell song -- "Fare you well, fare you well, I love you more than words can tell ... Going home, going home, by the waterside I will rest my bones; Listen to the river sing sweet songs to rock my soul."

 25 - a song that makes you laugh - "Just Like my Dog" by Billy Currington -- mostly because of the way my husband sings along to it. It cracks me up when his super-duper country comes out.

 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument - I never learned to play an instrument. Sad panda.

 27 - a song that you wish you could play - "Tiny Dancer" by Elton John.

 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty - "Southern Belle" by Elliott Smith

 29 - a song from your childhood - Michael Jackson's "Thriller" is the first song I remember loving with all of my heart.  Mom and I used to dance to MJ music-video marathons in the living room. Best childhood EVER.

 30 - your favorite song at this time last year - Around this time last year I got really heavily into The Civil Wars, so basically the entire "Barton Hollow" album, with emphasis on the beginning track, "20 Years" ... and also a lot of Mumford & Sons, particularly "Awake My Soul."